


The Mistake of Trust

by context_please



Series: Atlantis Episode Tags / Codas [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Aftermath, Awesome Teyla Emmagan, Canon Compliant, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e06 Trinity, Gen, John Sheppard Needs a Hug, Loss of Trust, Rodney McKay is a little too confident, Team Feels, Teyla Is Awesome, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 03:56:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4289946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/context_please/pseuds/context_please
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teyla returns from her trading negotiations on Belkan to witness the aftermath of the Dorandan incident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mistake of Trust

When Teyla returned from her trade negotiations on Belkan, the city was quiet. The Marines that greeted them at the Stargate were subdued, taking the bags of flaxseed without comment. The only sign of life in the city was Doctor Weir’s furious, barely-controlled shouting. Teyla glanced up to her office, catching a glimpse of Rodney, the defeat in the downward curve of his shoulders, the guilt in the harsh slope of his lips.

Doctor McKay had done something wrong.

Teyla had never seen him look so downtrodden, so vulnerable. Rodney knew when he’d done something wrong – Teyla had seen enough of it to last a lifetime – but this time was different. He had done something terrible. Failed beyond all hope. Damaged beyond repair.

A bad day was about to get worse.

Teyla caught Ronon’s eye as he glanced over at her, a question in his gaze. He’d only been on Atlantis for a short time, but he’d never seen Doctor Weir yell in such a manner. Honestly, Teyla hadn’t either.

Still fuming over Ronon’s blatant abuse of her newly given friendship, she raised an eyebrow, daring him to speak.

Wisely, he remained silent.

Walking amongst the corridors of Atlantis offered her some respite. The city may feel foreign and constricting at times – as became of all spaces one lived in, sooner or later – and yet, she provided a soothing balm in others. These were the halls of the Ancestors: they had survived many thousands of years, and they would outlive her as surely as the sun would outlive the Wraith. The arrival of John’s people may have shaken her belief in the Ancestors as benevolent souls, uprooted her people, and revealed the horrors of her galaxy, but they also gave her something more. They gave her hope for the future. No longer did she simply go through the motions of living. In many ways, living with the people of Earth was taking fate into her own hands. These people may be strange, may be loud and outspoken and a complete mystery – yet, their brute strength, stubbornness, and never-ending determination were what made them the perfect fit for her galaxy.

Too many cullings, too many years of being hunted by the Wraith, had quashed the Pegasus Galaxy’s will to fight back. Despite the presence of technologically strong civilizations like the Hoffans and the Genii, the people of Teyla’s galaxy were cowed. The destruction of Sateda had only driven that home. Their spirit remained, but only in their hearts, not in their actions.

There were only some individuals, like Ronon, that showed their spirit so, and even he had not survived unscathed.

He shadowed her as they wound through the halls to her quarters. Despite years of hiding in the shadows, he still had not perfected lightness of step. His weight bore him down too much, feet thudding gently on the metal floor. She was silent as they approached their quarters – now that Ronon was a member of the team he had been given quarters close to John’s and Teyla’s.

As she approached the wider hallway that lead to their quarters, Teyla was surprised to find John. He was pacing, weaving in between Atlantis’ support pillars with an absent-minded grace. It was the kind of grace she rarely saw from him outside of the training room – he seemed determined to put up a constant ruse comprised of laziness and clunky movements. Yet, he was always watching. Always taking in what happened around him. Cataloguing reactions, filing information away for later use. While John may appear to be lazy and slow, Teyla knew he was anything but. There was an intensity to him, lying just under the surface, ready to break free at a moment’s notice. John Sheppard was dangerous.

Ronon pulled to a halt beside her, and she thought he might finally begin to understand just how dangerous his new leader was.

John noticed them immediately, stopping and pulling his hand from one of the glowing support pillars. The tense set of his shoulders betrayed the lie of his slouch. His eyes were filled with too many emotions to properly distinguish; yet his face was blank. Teyla took a step closer, clasped his forearms and touched their heads together.

His arms twitched in an aborted motion to twist away, but he stayed. She knew of John’s aversion to touch and still did not understand it. Perhaps this was why he had not found a romantic partner in Atlantis. He held himself aloof, above romance and tactile pleasures. Teyla did not think it was because he thought himself better than others, but the opposite. John Sheppard thought he did not deserve to be loved. _Oh, John_ , she sighed to herself.

He let go of her as soon as was respectful. The step backward did not hide the emotions swimming in his eyes, beneath his skin. Hurt, guilt, fury. Betrayal. Someone had broken his trust.

John did not trust easily.

Teyla knew this. He was willing to give a stranger a chance to prove themselves, to show their merit. After the city rose, Teyla had foolishly thought she had John’s trust. It took Jinto’s childish antics for her to realize that no; John Sheppard did not trust her. In John’s eyes, she had seen the _desire_ to trust her, but that had meant nothing. When John stood up for her in spite of his tenuous position on Atlantis, insisting he was to blame for the activation of her old necklace, Teyla learned two very important things. Firstly: he trusted her. Secondly: John would do anything for those he trusted. Since that day, he had proven it time and time again. John’s loyalty was unparalleled. If one had John’s trust, one could rest assured in the knowledge he would always be there.

‘What has happened here, John?’ She asked quietly, resisting the urge to reach out. The Athosians were a tactile people.

John’s Adam’s apple bobbed, tongue darting to wet his lips. His reply was murmured, filled with too many emotions to name. ‘He asked me to trust him.’

John had. Of course he had. And now he was paying the price.

The puzzlement oozed from Ronon, but she was not inclined to answer his questions any time soon.

‘I am sure Doctor McKay is sorry,’ she tried.

John’s lips quirked self-depreciatingly, the hurt finally showing on his face. ‘Yeah,’ he drawled slowly. And they both knew.

It was not enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Re-watched Trinity today and wow, that's a heavy episode. I love outsider POV, so have another one.  
> This is actually a brand new fic, hot off the press.


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